All of us at one point in time, search for the meaning and purpose for life, and we also try to find where we fit in.  We want so much to find something worth pouring our lives into, and we all want to be loved and accepted by others. 

Sometimes we end up compromising our values, with the hope that someone will then love us.  If we’re honest with ourselves, that’s what all of us want…to love and to be loved in return.  Some of us begin to smoke, drink, do drugs, and to ‘give ourselves away’ just to fit in and to feel loved.  If we begin to make wrong choices, it won’t be long before we find that deep down inside, we don’t like the person we are becoming, and we also begin to feel guilt and regret.

Even though we may find ourselves being accepted by some people, they usually are the ones who will lead us deeper into behavior that we will soon regret.  And in spite of having the desire within our hearts to be accepted met, there is still an emptiness and a deep void within us longing to be filled, and so we continue on in our search to find  something or someone to fill that void.

As I mentioned in some of my other poems, I always had a deep love for God and a strong desire to know Him more.  However, as I reached my teens, the longing of my heart then turned into looking for someone who would love me.  Even though the desire to seek God was no longer my main priority,  I still continued to go to church every Sunday and to talk to God about all my concerns, and I still had a deep emptiness inside that needed to be filled, and a longing in my heart to fit in and to find where I belonged.

Thankfully I had a healthy fear of trying drugs, and I never even smoked one cigarette in my life, however, I began to social drink at the young age of 16.  It was at my sister’s wedding, and my parents were even aware of the fact that I was drinking.  The very next month, I met the man who would become my husband in less than three years later.  Because he was 4 years older than me, it was easy for him to get alcohol, and I am ashamed to say that I began to drink on dates with him.  Because alcohol can lower one’s determination to make right choices, I began to do things that I regret to this day.

Even though I thought I had found someone who loved me, it was obvious by his behavior shortly before I married him, and the very next day after I married him, that he did not.  I was determined to be the very best wife I could be to him, but no matter how hard I tried, he continued to shut me out of his life.  In my heart I felt that if my own husband didn’t love me, then I must not be worthy of being loved.  When all my attempts of trying to make things work and trying to lovingly express my feelings to him failed, I went into a deep depression. 

Amazingly, as I mentioned in a couple of my other poem introductions, one day my husband brought me home a New Testament Bible that would have been thrown away if he hadn’t.  As I began to read it, God began to reveal His love and truth to me, to convict me of sin, and make me aware of His mercy and grace.  When I came to realize that Jesus paid the complete penalty for my sins (and yours) by taking God’s wrath that I deserved (and you deserved) for my sins (and yours) upon Himself, I was filled with such joy!

God also showed me that my worth as a person, does not depend upon how other people treat me, and God began to renew my mind with the truth of His Word, and soon I surrendered my life to Him.  I was filled with such joy and felt clean and forgiven for all I had done in my past, and found myself being filled with His love and forgiveness for my husband that enabled me to love him in spite of his behavior towards me.  I also was filled with a godly sorrow for the sin in my life, and with His help, I began to change areas in my life and in my thinking that needed to change, because I was far from being perfect too. 

I began to attend a Bible study and bought a case of New Testament Bibles and would hand them out to many people who came to my home.  Many also heard my testimony and the gospel, as well… those who sold magazines and new windows, and even a man who found his car just ‘happen’ to die out in front of my home one night.  : )

God also gave me many opportunities to have discussions with some Mormons and many Jehovah’s Witnesses, and I even prayed with some of them.  I especially remember my heart going out to two Jehovah’s Witnesses…a man and his wife, who came to my home one day.  My heart was filled with such a deep desire to share God’s truth with them, but because I was a new Christian when they came to my home, I didn’t have enough knowledge of God’s Word at the time.  I asked them if I could pray for them, and when they said,  “Yes,” with tear-filled eyes, I cried out from the depths of my heart to God for them, right then and there, for Him to reveal His truth to them that I was unable to do.  I trust that I will see them one day, as I walk the streets of gold in heaven.

I found that having Christ’s love and forgiveness filled that void my heart.  I also found that knowing God and His Word, and living for God, was, (and is) so deeply satisfying.   I realized at that point, that I discovered the main purpose for life…to live to worship and praise Him for who He is, because He is worthy of all our praise, to praise Him for all He had done for us, to live to bring Him glory and not shame with my life, and to share His love and truth with all whom He would bring across my path in life.  My heart was filled and satisfied, and I felt like I finally found where I belong…my heart had indeed found a home.

As a Christian, we will not always be accepted by everyone, and there will be times when we will be persecuted, rejected, and ridiculed, but when you come to know God’s truth, it doesn’t seem to matter.  Jesus paid for our forgiveness with His blood, and when you come to know the truth, most people are willing to pay the price…even if it means your  family and friends reject you, or your husband or wife leaves you.

To those of you who are reading this, who may be religious, but do not have a personal relationship with God, I hope and pray that you will come to the point of surrendering your life to Him…that you will place your complete trust in the finished work of Christ’s death on the cross in your place for your sins and guilt, and not in your good works, that God says in His Word are like ‘filthy rags.’  (Isaiah 64:6)  I also pray that you will find the joy and fulfillment that comes from turning from sin, and living a life fully surrendered to Him.  Positionally we are righteous because of the blood of Christ cleansing us from all sin and being a covering over our sins, but practically speaking, we will never be sinless, until we enter heaven.   But when we choose to die to self and to ‘be holy as He is Holy,’ by choosing to ‘walk by His Spirit and not by our sinful desires,’ we will become more like Christ, and see Him use us in amazing ways!  Turning from sin and living for God, shows our love and true commitment to Him, and gives us peace, joy, and satisfaction that nothing this world has to offer can ever give.  

I pray the day will come when you can also say,  “I finally found where I belong…my heart has found a home.”

God bless you, and thank you very much for stopping by to read my poems : )



All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags…”  Isaiah 64:6

Blessed are they whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered.  Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord will never count against him.”  Romans 4:7,8

He was delivered over to death for our sins and was raised to life for our justification.”  Romans 4:25

“Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand.  And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God.  Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance produces character; and character, hope.  And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us.  You see, at just the right time, whe we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly.  Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die.  But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.  Since we have now been justified by His blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through Him!  For if when we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to Him through the death of His Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through His life!  Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”  Romans 5:1-11

“For we know that our old self was crucified with Him so that the body of sin might be rendered powerless, that we should no longer be slaves to sin–because anyone who has died has been freed from sin.  Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with Him.  For we know that since Christ has been raised from the dead, He cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over Him.  The death He died, He died to sin once for all; but the life He lives, He lives to God.  In the same way, count yourself dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus.  Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires.  Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life;and offer the parts of your body to Him as instruments of righteousness.  For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law but under grace.”  Romans 6:6-14

“For the Word of God is living and active.  Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.  Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight.  Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of Him to whom we must give account.”  Hebrews 4:12,13

“See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God.  But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.”  Hebrews 3:12,13

“Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess.  For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are–yet was without sin.  Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”  Hebrews 4:14-16

“Therefore He is able to save completely those who come to God through Him, because He always lives to intercede for them.”  Hebrews 7:25

“Unlike the other high priests, He does not need to offer sacrifices day after day, first for His own sins, and then for the sins of the people.  He sacrificed for their sins once for all when He offered Himself.”  Hebrews 7:27

“He did not enter by  means of the blood of  goats and calves; but He entered the Most Holy Place once for all by His own blood, having obtained eternal redemption.  The blood of goats and bulls and the ashes of a heifer sprinkled on those who are ceremonially unclean sanctify them so that they are outwardly clean.  How much more, then, will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered Himself unblemished to God, cleanse our consciences from acts that lead to death, so that we may serve the living God.”  Hebrews 9:12,13

“But now He has appeared once for all at the end of the ages to do away with sin by the sacrifice of Himself.  Just as man is destined to die once, and after that to face judgment, so Christ was sacrificed once to take away the sins of many people; and He will appear a second time, not to bear sin, but to bring salvation to those who are waiting for Him.”  Hebrews 9:26-28

“Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more.”  And where these have been forgiven, there is no longer any sacrifice for sin.  Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, His body, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith,having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water.  Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful.”  Hebrews 10:17-23

“He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in His mouth.  When they hurled their insults at Him, He did not retaliate; when He suffered He made no threats.  Instead, He entrusted Himself to Him who judges justly.  He Himself bore our sins in His body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by His wounds you have been healed.  For you were like sheep gone astray, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.”  1 Peter 2:22-25

“For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous to bring you to God.”  1 Peter 3:18

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith–and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God–not by works , so that no one can boast.  For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”  Ephesians 2:8-10

“For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men.  It teaches us to say,  “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope–the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave Himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for Himself a people that are His very own, eager to do what is good.”  Titus 2:11-14

“But we know that when He appears, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is.  Everyone who has this hope in him purifies himself, just as He is pure.  Everyone who sins breaks the law; in fact sin is lawlessness.  But you know that  He appeared so that He might take away our sins.  And in Him is no sin.  No one who lives in Him keeps on sinning.  No one who continues to sin has either seen Him or known Him.”    1 John 3:3-6

“Jesus replied,  “If anyone loves Me, he will obey My teaching.  My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him.  He who does not love me will not obey My teaching.  These words you hear are not My own; they belong to the Father who sent Me.”  John 14:23,24

“The Lord knows those who are really His,” and,  “Everyone who confesses the name of the Lord must turn away from wickedness.”  In a large house there are articles not only of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay; some are for noble purposes and some for ignoble.  If a man cleanses himself from the latter, he will be an instrument for noble purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work.  Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.”  2 Timothy 3:19-22

“For I know the plans I have for you,”  declares the LORD,  “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart.  I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back from captivity.”  Jeremiah 29:11-14


Always wandering to find where I belonged,

My heart cried out, though silently, my will chose every wrong,

Gaining acceptance, though inwardly the void grew deeper still,

I had no strength to change my ways, my heart was overpowered by my will,

Overwhelming circumstances brought me to my knee,

I came face to face with who I was…a sinner, with the need to be set free,

Overcome with gratefulness, to find my debt He paid in full,

God’s Spirit I gave control of me, sin’s allure then lost its pull,

God’s grace taught me to hate the sin, that once enslaved me tight,

Though still a sinner, now saved by grace, I desired to do what’s right,

Love for God then filled my heart, to make His truth be known,

Many who came across my path, I shared the truth that I was shown…

From Jehovah’s faithful, but deceived Witnesses, who came to my front door,

To those who sold new windows, and a man with a ‘divinely appointed’ stalled car,

I finally found where I belong, I have no more need to roam,

I found it all when I found Christ, my heart has found a home.


Copyright© 2010 Mary K. Dalke/Living4HisGlory/LivingForHisGlory

Scriptures taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version® Copyright© 1973, 1978, 1984 International Bible Society.  Used by permission of Zondervan.

Picture obtained from Photobucket- Pray