INTRODUCTION

A poem about a child,  who represents many children, and their desperate inner cry for love and approval from their dad…

I did not intend to write another poem this month, but after talking with my daughter last week, what she said caused me to hurt deeply for her, and for my son as well.  Without going into detail about all she said, God helped me to form the main part of  what she shared with me into the following poem.  As I thought about the hurt that my children have experienced in life, I  realized more than ever before, the importance of a dad’s love, encouragement, and being true to their word is to a child, and decided to add some of my thoughts into this poem as well.

I pray that God will use it to make any of you who are fathers, aware of the need for you to not only express your love and encouragement to your children, but also to help you realize how important it is for you to be a man of your word, and for you to do what you tell them you will do…live up to the promises you make to them, as best as humanly possible.  Don’t ever promise or tell your child you are going to do something for them if you have no intention of even doing it.  Always be honest with your child, and when need be, swallow your pride and admit when you are wrong and when you fail them, and when you can speak from your heart, tell them you are sorry.  Children need to be able to trust their dads, (as well as their  moms) and the love and encouragement you also give them, will make them feel secure and help them to better deal with the pressures they face in life .  

Listen to them, making eye contact with them, giving them your full attention, and hear what they are saying, and respond to them by giving them words of encouragement or comfort.  Or sometimes all they need is just a hug, or for you to share a similar experience that you went through, to show them you understand somewhat how they must be feeling.  And let them know that whenever they have a problem, they can always come to you, and you will always be there to listen to them, even though you will not always have the answers.  Sometimes all they need is someone who will listen to them; problems don’t always seem as bad after we express our feelings to someone else.

I know there are some of you who are men who have been hurt and abused by your father, or you may have never really had a close relationship with him, and you feel like you really don’t know how to be a good father to your children.  Or, for whatever reason, you may be afraid to reach out to your children and tell them that you love them, but they need your love, encouragement, and direction and loving discipline more than you can ever imagine.  If I may suggest to you… just treat them how you would have wanted your father to have treated you; with love, concern, and compassion.

Please don’t try to make your child into something you want them to be, or what you wish you could have been.  Love them for who they are, and look for, and point out, all their good qualities.  Tell them how proud you are of them when they accomplish something, and when you have to correct them, do it in love, giving them the reasons you have, so even if they disagree and become angry (and they definitely will at times, and give you the ‘silent treatment’) they will better understand and won’t grow bitter towards you.

And when you have to say, ‘No’ to them for a good reason, please don’t say,  ‘No…because I said so.’ Give them a clear explanation of why you have to say ‘no.’  And if you are a Christian, share Biblical truth with them to point out God’s standards of right and wrong, ‘making the most of every opportunity,’ so they see the difference in what God says compared to the standard our world has for the most part today; hardly any moral absolutes and almost everything  being about ‘tolerance’ and ‘oneness.’

Sharing the truth of God’s Word with them, will help them see through all the chaos and confusion that is now so strongly present in our world.  A world where things that were once clearly wrong, are now accepted, and our world just continues to grow spiritually darker and darker.  Allow God’s Word to be ‘a lamp to their feet and a light for their path.’  (Psalm 119:105)

It has been said that many children have the same view of God as they have of their father, so please try to set a godly, firm, but loving and caring  example of who He is, even though you are far from perfect, as we all are.

Use your words to bless and encourage your son or daughter, no matter how old they are, giving them motivation and hope for their future.  So many children are verbally abused by other children, as well as by adults, and that will cause their confidence level to be very low.  They need to hear words that will inspire them to work hard to accomplish what they desire to be, so they will not give up and lose heart.  No matter what age our children may be, they never outgrow the need for love and approval, especially from their dads.

The first half of the following poem is based on much of what my daughter said, and how my son also feels, and the last portion came about as I reflected on not only how deeply a child is  affected by a lack of love and encouragement from their dad, but also as I thought about the many men who just need God’s love, forgiveness, and healing in their own life, so  that they are then able to give love to their children in return. 

Sadly though, there are some men who just live for themselves, and don’t care about the pain they cause those who love them.  But God’s love can penetrate the hardest heart, and change the vilest of sinners.  He then receives all the glory for changing those whom the world would think would be the last ones to ever change. 

May God bless all of you with an understanding of the love He has for you, and also with His wisdom to raise your children.  I pray for those of you who already have come to know Jesus as Savior and Lord of your life, that you will not only guide them by His love and with Biblical truth, but also and most importantly, I pray that God will help you to lead them  by your example, as you make the choice to live in holiness and to honor Christ day by day, because your actions definitely do speak louder than words; don’t just talk the talk, but, by His grace, also walk the walk.  

God bless all of you, and thank you very much for stopping by and reading my poems.

SCRIPTURES FOR YOU TO REFLECT UPON

When Esau heard his father’s words, he burst out with a loud and bitter cry and said to his father,  “Bless me–me too, my father!”  (Genesis 27:34)

“He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers; or else I will come and strike the land with a curse.”  (Malachi 4:6)

“For this people’s heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes.  Otherwise they might see  with their eyes, hear with their ears,  understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them.”  (Matthew 13:15)

“The words of his mouth are wicked and deceitful; he has ceased to be wise and to do good.”  (Psalm 36:3)

“The LORD is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”  (Psalm 34:18)

“My mouth will speak words of wisdom; the utterance from my heart will give understanding.”  (Psalm 49:3)

“All the words of my mouth are just; none of them is crooked or perverse.”         (Proverbs 8:8)

“Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of  the wise brings healing.”  (Proverbs 12:18)

“The wise in heart are called discerning, and pleasant words promote instruction.”  (Proverbs 16:21)

“Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”  (Proverbs 16:24)

“A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered.”  (Proverbs 17:27)

“Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”  (Ephesians 6:4)

“Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.”  (Colossians 3:21)

“Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.  These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts.  Impress them upon your children.  Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down, and when you get up.”            (Deuteronomy 6:5-7)

SONGS THAT WILL BRING TEARS TO YOUR EYES, BUT WILL MAKE YOU REALIZE HOW YOU NEED TO TREASURE EVERY MOMENT YOU HAVE WITH YOUR CHILDREN AND MAKE THE MOST OF EVERY MOMENT YOU HAVE WITH THEM, FOR THE DAY COMES ALL TOO SOON WHEN THEY GROW UP AND ARE GONE  

UPDATED 3/19/12 JUST HEARD THIS SONG IN FEB. 2012, AND REALIZED HOW THE WORDS EXPRESS MANY OF THE THOUGHTS MY DAUGHTER HAS SHARED WITH ME  CONCERNING HER DAD AND HOW PERFECT IT WOULD BE FOR THE FOLLOWING POEM

 IF MY HEART COULD SPEAK

If my heart could speak, you would hear it say,

All the unspoken sorrow, I hold tucked away,

How I long to hear that you’re proud of me,

And words of hope to paint a vision of what I could be,

When I tell you my exciting news of days gone by,

You don’t share in my joy, you don’t even try,

You simply just ask, ‘So what else is new,’

I am stunned into silence , and don’t know what to do,

I speak from my heart, but your heart seems so cold,

I don’t feel like you love me, even though I am told,

I need you to show me by not just what you say,

But to do what you tell me you’ll do, day by day,

What you do will build my trust and a bond that is strong,

Say you’re sorry when you fail and hurt me, admit when you’re wrong,

No one is perfect, but my Father above,

But the way that you treat me, makes me even doubt His love,

My worth comes from God, I have heard many say,

But knowing that still doesn’t take all the deep hurt away,

Words and actions can bring healing and blessings, and make all things new,

Or they can crush someone’s spirit, with untold damage they can do,

These thoughts, still unspoken, weigh heavy on my heart,

I pray that one day, God, to you will impart,

The knowledge of His love to expose your sin and heal your own pain,

And maybe some day a wonderful relationship with you I will gain.

 

Copyright©2011 Mary K. Dalke/Living For His Glory/Living4HisGlory

Scriptures taken from The Holy Bible New International Version® Copyright©1973, 1978, 1984, International Bible Society.  Used by permission of Zondervan.  All rights reserved. 

Picture obtained from Photobucket-BedruthanSteps-1

Scripture added by Mary K. Dalke on Photobucket

 

 

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